Friday, February 9, 2018

How to start an argument.


I love my wife, honestly.... but if anyone wants to find just cause for a homicide simply ask their special loved one to go on an extreme diet.

Those magic words, "Honey, we should start a diet together! Are you in?" puts anyone in a horrible position, the thoughts of "Actually I'm aware I could shift a few pounds, thanks for reminding me, but I also do like the food I can eat" are swept away by the fact you don't want to begin the mega-argument that will inevitably end with "Why don't you love me?" and tears and probably a few items thrown and some choice language questioning parentage.  Sigh.

Jessica decided February was the time to put me in that position, as outlined above of course I saw sense and agreed, not really knowing what I was in for.

So planning and thought went into it, The Keto diet would see us drop Carbs like a stone, eat the fat content of a killer whale every day and boom- stop Soda consumption like Hollywood drops Actors in a scandal. Shopping was interesting, staring longingly at foods enjoyed and focusing instead on a limp lettuce or pasty cheese. And then we began.......

Oh my GOD.  We began on the 1st, and by the weekend it's not unfair to say we were both miserable, tired, and oh so hungry.  Living off rations & meal portions seemingly set out for Bob Geldof to come to the rescue Jessica was off her head with cold turkey soda crash and I was just given even more reason to be a grumpy bastard.  

And then... the headaches, tiredness went away.  Not sure I felt refreshed or recovered and any of the other good things you read about, but between us in the first week we'd shipped 15+ pounds.  Yes, doomsayers I KNOW it's mostly water, but with a little exception at dinner where feeling you should be serving up a tasty treat on dessert plates and it's something you'd see in those annoying "minimalist" restaurants, we'd actually made it this far.

We're definitely eating a much better variety of food, though breakfast is often eggs & something. Jessica is truly monitoring the intake, I'm taking more of a random flyer at it, by basically eating the same and watching anytime we deviate.  Whisper it, but Jessica has even hinted she might try a different kind of fish!  Shocking.  

Next week may be hard, I know of at least 1 day at work where free bagels are on offer, and I've got a message that day will also have free pizza....... but we committed to it for a month and we'll see the results. 

I have to be honest I doubt come March 2nd you'll see me still on it, but it has given a good perspective on portion size (my killer) and actual content of foods.  I can see how you can simply pound on the carbs and nasties by not actually doing much other than combining bad meal choices, so if nothing else I think we'll eat smarter in the future and that should certainly help us both.

Ok - so you read that lot and thought, what the hell??? I only read this for the kids updates, so here they are.

Ryan got an excellent report from school, he's made great strides this year and is closing the gap in his reading & comprehension, some of that is due to the extra tutoring and the ever-reliable Kristen but he's also worked damn hard at reading up each night, he's loving math (Good lad!) and is signed up for soccer this spring, seems his batting days may be behind him.

Hannah is still Hannah, by that I mean she's as soft, cuddly & as dangerous as a Tiger, going from epic individualism to Mommy's girl in seconds.  She's up to Intermediates now and is beginning to show a thawing in her willingness to at least attempt to use the potty, hopefully that's another tick soon to come.  She too is interested in soccer, possibly because she thinks she can try out some of the words Daddy used when the referee donated those penalties to Tottenham last week.

So a slightly different blog this time, we'll check in next and say how we did, and how badly we crashed back on the soda truck :)

Have a good one!

J, J, R & H

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